Sometimes when things feel upside down, we are struck with such a sense of despair and overwhelming grief, a sense of loss, an emptiness that can seem impossible to fill. Can we heal the grief? We walk through our days, numb, wondering when we will ever feel normal again. Whether it’s a personal loss, an illness, a national tragedy or just a generalized sense of impending doom, there are steps we can take to move us along on a path to healing.
Revitalizing Our Energy Systems
One of the simplest ways to help move grief through the body is by using the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). EFT, also known as “tapping”, is a superb healing technique which clears emotional blockages in your body and thereby allows the body to experience peace and emotional freedom.
Basic EFT Tapping
> Take a couple of deep, relaxing breaths.
> Under eye tap: using your fingertips, tap gently under the eyes 7-10 times.
> Move down to just below collarbone (bilateral), tapping gently 7-10 times. Continue breathing deeply and calmly.
> Move down to thymus and repeat. The thymus is located behind the third rib, but any vibrations along the length of the upper sternum will stimulate it.
> Finally, move to area just below ribs (bilateral). Repeat.
> Do this for 15-20 seconds and continue to take regular slow breaths. Repeat up to 4 times daily.
Variations to Experiment With:
If you don’t have either of those on hand, use Sandalwood or one of your favorite opening, calming oils such as Lavender, Melissa, Frankincense or Clary Sage. The blend Grounding and Valor II are also are also superb to help refocus your energies on the future while settling your emotional state.*
Incorporate Affirmations or EFT Setup Statements
These can be very powerful and in some cases essential to effect a change in your mental and emotional state. Here are some statements that you can use, either silently or aloud, while performing your tapping:
Even though the world is full of chaos, I accept myself fully and recognize my value.
Though I grieve the loss of lives, I accept myself fully and can make room for peace and hope.
Although the heavy weight of grief and sadness lay over me like a blanket, this will pass and I will find joy again.
I give myself permission to grieve, and accept myself completely in this moment.
I feel backed into a corner, full of anger and pain, but I will find a way out.
This grief seems insurmountable, but I accept myself fully.
Alternative Tapping Method for Grief
Sometimes people find this alternative method more useful for dealing with feelings of despair. Feel free to replace the phrases used below with ones that resonate more with your own personal situation. Be sure, however, to include a phrase similar to “I love and fully accept myself” at the end.
First, tap the crown of your head gently with your fingertips: “I feel stuck in despair and loss, yet I love and fully accept myself.”
Second, tap the inner end of your eyebrow with your index fingers: “I cannot deal with the pain of ______________ right now, but I love and fully accept myself.”
Third, tap the outer edge of your eyes: “The sadness is overwhelming, yet I love and fully accept myself.”
Fourth, tap gently under your eyes: “Even though I felt panic, I love and fully accept myself.”
Fifth, tap gently under your nose: “The depth of my anger and fear scares me, but I love and fully accept myself.”
Sixth, tap under your mouth: “Even though I cannot change the past, I love and fully accept myself.”
Seventh, tap just under your collarbone, “I am feel numb and confused, yet I love and fully accept myself.”
Eighth, tap under arm pits (cross arms to reach): “I am anxious and don’t know how or when I will feel better, yet I love and fully accept myself.”
Ninth, return to crown of head: “I love and fully accept myself. I recognize the opportunities for happiness all around me.”
At the end of one round, evaluate how you feel, with 10 as terrible and 0 as wonderful. Repeat the tapping sequence until you REACH ZERO.
Grief and despair are complicated emotions. One moment you feel like you have a handle on things, and the next you are swept up in a wave of sadness. Be patient and loving with yourself. Give yourself time. Be in nature, get off your screens, stop reading the news (it will still be there when you return). Above all, be kind and forgiving to yourself.